In Between Seasons

It always happens in between seasons. The feeling of wanting to start something new, an odd motivation for change in appearence or hobbies or jobs. I'm not saying I'd like to get plastic surgery and get butt implants or something just silly like that; although, i could probably use more ass... nonetheless, that's not what I mean. For some inexplicable reason the moment inbetween summer and fall or winter and spring I get an itch for something different. I usually decide that, for instance, I'm going to learn to play the banjo or something like that. And I take a lesson or two and then let it fall by the wayside and get disappointed in myself for my lack of consistant motivation and ability to follow through.

I also usually have the desire to get super fit which is just funny because once I attempt to get back into hard core exercising or even just to plan it out I remember that I'd rather do something else less anal and just go for a hike. So what is my plan this time? I don't really know, but it's getting around that time.

These moments are a lot like New Year's resolutions for a lot of Americans, although I must admit that I make a point of not making a New Year's resolution which is ironic. January 1st will come around and suddenly Americans all over will decide that this year they are going to ______ , and nine times out of ten the actual attempt at ______ lasts less than two weeks and they are back to who they've always been but usually without too much grief.

I, on the other hand, will sometimes look back on my failures of those moments and figuratively flog myself for not being more determined to follow through, so I go and get my hair chopped off for some sort of lasting change to make up for my inability to play the banjo. Equal switch off? Not quite. My hair will grow back and I will want to play the banjo or write a novel or learn to blow glass or something and probably fail and just chop the hair off again. It's an ugly cycle, but not necessarily a wholey negative experience.

For one I've gotten some fantastic hair cuts that do tend to make me feel like a new woman for a bit, and for another thing I've tried a lot of different things. So I'm not an expert rock climber and my book isn't done, but at least I can say I tried for a moment and I learned for a moment and I'd like to think I'm a better person for it. This is probably how I'll always be so I should just accept the fact that while I have an itch to take on something new I'll probably never be amazing at it and I'll probably just end up with a new sassy haircut.