Grandmother

My grandmother died either Thurs, 1/11 in the evening or early Fri, 1/12. It hits me in waves, laughing and my typical self one minute, sad and nostalgic the next. I guess that's grieving for you. I know it will take some time till I'm completely back to myself and that's ok. It can be pretty embarassing at times though. Yesterday I was in the Atlanta airport on my way back to Colorado when I had a meltdown. I have to back up a bit. At the burial service, everyone there was given a peach colored rose from the flowers there. At the airport my meltdown started b/c I carried my rose through the metal detector. The security guy at the other end said, "Miss, you can't bring flowers through here. They are suppose to go through the xray machine." He then asked to look at it since he could tell that I wasn't about to send it though the xray. After handing it over to him, the man proceeded to check it over and make sure that yes, indeed it was a flower. When he got around to smelling it I lost it. I have no idea why, but after that I just couldn't get a grip. I finally got a hold of myself right before I had to board the plane.

It sucks being back at work. My mind is just not here.