My friend Alex and I met in 2001 while both attending a study abroad program in London. Ever since we have enjoyed conversing with each other and exchanging sometimes cynical views of the world. He and I share an interest in writing and every now and again I get an essay from him with commentary on pop culture, relationships, school, the world. Always interesting, well written and hilarious, I always enjoy his essays. Here is his latest, a look at being invited to a nemesis' wedding...Last April, I had a bottle of champagne with a girl from my past, whom I’ll dub Sam, who could only be described as my nemesis from high school and before. I wrote an essay about the experience entitled “ Champagne at 2 AM on a Saturday Night and the Salvation of the Human Race,” where I shared a bottle of champagne with she and her fiancé to celebrate their engagement.
The brilliant pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman wrote an essay on the differences between one’s nemesis and arch-enemy, aptly titled “Nemesis.” This is a portion of what he had to say, excerpted from his latest collection of essays: “Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas”:
Now, I know what you’re asking yourself: How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. You would attend the funeral of your nemesis, and – privately – you might shed a tear over his or her passing. However, you would never choose to have a cocktail with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike the gin with arsenic. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he’d burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you keep your hatred secret, because you do not want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated.
So based on this general distinction, my classmate Sam would fall into the nemesis category, and would not be considered an archenemy. In high school, she was one of the few people who knew how to get under my skin. We were fairly competitive academically with each other but I’m willing to admit that she was a bright cookie. In recent time we may have moved past this designation and entered into a more mature relationship. I invited Sam to the annual Thanksgiving Eve festivities this year, but she was flying in from Seattle ON Thanksgiving (remember, she’s a resident at a Seattle hospital specializing in addiction recovery).
However, when she messaged me through Facebook apologizing for not showing and to wish me and my family a happy Thanksgiving, she mentioned, “By the way – keep November 8, 2008 open. Ryan and I are getting married that day and would love for you to join us at our wedding.”
When Sam used to have runny noses and be extremely congested, I used to taunt her by saying things like, “What if I just sucked the snot out your nose, Sam?”
When I discovered after high school that she had become a vegetarian, after she made a snide comment to me, I responded with, “Does this mean you’re going to stop eating dick too? You certainly enjoyed lots of that in high school.”
And despite the years of such pleasant exchanges, I’m pretty sure I may be the only person from our high school class invited to her wedding, probably because I’m one of the only people she keeps up with. When I responded to her message in disbelief that I was invited she came back with something bizarre: “Plus, one day I’m going to need you to help me create a cross cultural revolution.” Yeah, I don’t know what that means either.
She certainly has changed a lot since high school, but I got to thinking of just why I was invited to my nemesis’ wedding.
Was it due to our discussion that April night about love? Was it because I was one of the few high school friends who met Ryan? (Unlike myself, Sam cut a lot of her ties from high school after we graduated) Was it because back in 3rd grade she had a crush on me and gave me my first (and only) love letter? Was this some sort of twisted vindication, the ultimate revenge after years of torturing her?
Or maybe it’s just growing up. Perhaps it’s a gesture to come celebrate what she hopes to be one of the happiest moments of her life. This is, after all, the guy she’s choosing to spend the rest of her life with (and yes, she loves him too).
One of my first New Years’ resolutions for 2008? To “try” to be less cynical (and also, to stay away from the cougars…). I’d like to continue to try to bury my pessimistic attitude and try to become more positive.
I’m truly touched that Sam would think to invite me to her wedding. In all honesty, I love going to weddings, so I’ll be there with my good high school friend Anita as my date (assuming I get invited with a date). Plus, Sam has hinted that there’ll be some single female doctors there. If “Grey’s Anatomy” has taught me anything, it’s that doctors out in Seattle are horny all the time. Should be a fun time…
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